In moments like this I always fall back on the fact that they also aren’t speaking English because they don’t have England or the many languages and conquering peoples that contributed to the creation of the English language and therefore the work musr be a translation into recognizable terms in our world’s terms. Call that Tolkien Brainrot.
Definitely funnier if you make fantasy explanations though,
Champagne is a wizard who sells bubbly alcohol.
It’s called English because of the original Lish people, all languages start with En here.
French fries are not potatoes they’re roots of the french plant.
Goodbye is now short for ‘good be your eye’ wishing you luck seeing the path ahead.
Jesus Christ is a long dead lich who used to cause everyone problems and we haven’t stopped saying her name when things go wrong.
And that’s the Pratchett approach
[Image: Screencap from Shrek 2; the text, “They don’t even have dental!” was changed to “They don’t even have France!”]
I mean, you can keep “God be with ye” if there are any gods* at all in your world, yeah? It’s not like it specifies which god…
* That you aren’t trying to get away from, anyway.
honestly my life rn is basically that gif where the dude is like “OH SHIT!” and the gif starts content aware scaling and then it just stops and goes back to normal and hes like “i’m okay”